Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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