we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize