i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
