Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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