Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
