I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
