I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
