just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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