I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
