i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Let's paint friendship bongs
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize