Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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