I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
