Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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