Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize