Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
