3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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