youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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