When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
