You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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