how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
