But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
