Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
