So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
