I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
