the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
