I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
