capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
