Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
