its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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