YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
