Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
