my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
