i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
