We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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