My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
