She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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