Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
