I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
