I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
