No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
