do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
