? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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