problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
