guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My pussy is not your playground.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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