I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
