i think my mom watched the whole time
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's never too late to be topless.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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