Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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