why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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