Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I need moral support for this bender
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
