I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
