the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
