You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
