i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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