You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
