Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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