Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
