Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize