you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
