i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
