The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
