i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
