Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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