Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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