We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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