I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
