too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
