Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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