Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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