CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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