you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
