Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
