just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
