She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My liver just had a heart attack.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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