I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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