Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
