I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
