That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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