Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
