i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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