no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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