i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
