I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
