So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
